Transitioning to Something New
What comes up for you when thinking of “transitioning to something new?”
When do you feel ready for change?
What is something new you are ready for?
What does new mean to you?
How does one transition?
Do you feel you transition because you want to or because you have to?
Transition = excitement for new things and sadness for old. What do you think about that?
What stories, if any, would people like to share?
What comes up for you when thinking of “transitioning to something new?”
Madi - My current transitions I am in, which include moving to Florida, starting a business, becoming a life coach
Cathy - moving to a new home, taking care of my son
Ryan - CA -> MI for a job, ended long distance relationship, and have a new house
Robin - new to Lansing area, moved from a house to a condo
Ellie - also moved from a house to a condo, I went through a divorce and lost my mom recently
Tom - moved, new church location
Stephen - recovery coaching, new project - writing a book, finishing associates
Lex - moving, CHI -> LAN, new career, new art
Abi - have new changes yet to come, bracing and preparing for those
How does one transition?
People move from this to that and that to this. But there is also a great balance between having knowledge of the future (as in planning and understanding how your actions will shape your future) versus the unknown because regardless of how well we plan or how many possibilities we predict, the future will never become known until the present moment. The transitions we encounter can either leave us feeling at peace or anxious, two opposing ends of the spectrum. Why is this?
Transition is happening daily at a much smaller scale. Every little action you take, thought you have, word you say, way you spend your time - these are all little transitions we make that help shape who we are and how we show up in the world. We are constantly choosing every microsecond of the day. Thank goodness our brains do most of this work behind the scenes (subconsciously) so we can continue to make only the biggest of these decisions on stage (consciously). For every decision made there is a consequence. Our United States culture has led us to believe that this word - consequence - has a negative connotation, that we will have a bad outcome from whatever choice we made, regardless of whether it was “right” or “wrong” in our minds. But that’s just it; a consequence is only an outcome. And yes we must live with the outcome but our perspective on that outcome determines whether we believe it to be “good” or “bad.”
Let’s say you have gone through these micro-transitions making small decisions thousands, maybe tens of thousands of times. For example, every time you walk past your candy jar in the kitchen, you grab one piece of candy. After having done that say six times a day, six days a week, 52 weeks a year, 10 years at this house alone - you have decided to make the same decision 18,720 times! Wow. And, again as an example, the consequence or the outcome might be that you’ve steadily maintained your slightly heavier-set physique. Awesome! You enjoy staying in this transition of having your favorite candies and living life comfortably. There is joy in having this balance. But lets say one day, you decide you do not like the candy anymore so you stop eating it and for some reason only known to you, you switch to eating a baby carrot each time instead. The consequence might still be similar; you enjoy your snack and you maintain a slightly lighter weight. That’s great too.
Now taking our candy example, instead of losing interest in the candy, the candy company all of a sudden stopped making that candy. Chaos explodes. What are you going to do? How will we ever be able to replace it? What are my next options? How will I cope with this rapid change? We could take these question and insert whatever variable we wanted. Maybe we ask these questions when our parents get too old to take care of themselves, or our child becomes ill, or we have to move for a job, or we no longer are interested in our partner - the variables go on and on. But really, how will you react to this change? Does it bring you peace when thinking about how to transition through this change? Or does it make you anxious and how can we work through this transition?
Whatever your variable and however you feel about it, just know that you are stronger than you think. You are capable to handle any unforeseen or planned transitions to something new. With every transition comes a new skill that you’ve obtained. Maybe that’s navigating a new city, being able to sort and organize things after a loved one has passed, or finding ways to make your new home feel like your home. You did it. You managed to maneuver through the transition and now you have a new perspective on life. Way to go!
When do you feel ready for change?
When life feels chaotic and change is necessary, this is when it is time for change (for some). Chaos is an infection. For example, if a person is living an unfulfilling life working a boring job, not enjoying social engagements, and not having fun doing their own thing, that might lead them to having a cluttered and messy space. Your environment is a representation of your mind. Messy room = messy mind. This ties in a bit to feng sui in that there is purpose in having a neat and organized space - a place for everything; everything in its place. (If this sounds too OCD for you, I get it and that’s totally fine to have a little less organization of course). But we do happen to live in a very consumerist society in which we are constantly being fed more and more reasons to buy things which does not help in keeping order and simplicity in our lives. Similarly, we also live in a consumerist state of mind through social media and constant streaming services. Probably time to take a think about that one as well.
If you feel too lost and unsatisfied with the way our psychological consumerist country is acting, that could be your gut telling you that its time for change. Again, like our candy example, the consumerism is just a variable that can be replaced by many others including relationships, lifestyles, locations, routines, etc. All your gut is trying to tell you is that thing no longer serves a purpose for you nor do you find purpose in it. Sometimes that gut feeling to make a big change independent of anything else might be freeing. Knowing you are ready for this change is a really uplifting feeling. When you are ready but do not know what the change will bring as a consequence in the future, it can be beneficial to detach from the goal or value it brings. This transition is more about the journey rather than the destination.
All transitional journeys are unique. Sometimes they bring joy and sorrow, pain and gain, love and hate - an array of emotions and feelings. Whatever these emotions and feelings happen to be, they are part of the irreplaceable experience, irreplaceable things, and irreplaceable people. Transitional journeys can also be any length of time. This part depends more on your attention span to the transition. If it is something you are not necessarily keen on having a huge attention span, it might take a lot less time.
Another indication that it might be time for change is boredom. Have you ever felt bored with yourself, your environment, your friends, etc? Yeah I am sure we have all been there. It especially feels more present nowadays as our attention spans across the board have all but shriveled up. As Maslow’s most basic hierarchy of needs of physiological needs and safety needs are largely met here in the United States, it would seem that most are able to advance to the next levels of belonging, esteem and self-actualization. However, that is not what is happening for the majority. For some multitude of reasons, people are not wanting to reflect and think at these higher levels. It could be tied back to our attention spans. Who knows?
Transitions again are whatever you want them to be. One thing that they always will be is a time to reinvent yourself. If you don’t want to be the person you are today, you always have the ability to choose to be something else. The sky is the limit. Maybe one small step in that direction can be reframing your space - both physical and mental. Reframe it to help you on your transition journey. Keeping too much old and new all at the same time can be overwhelming so be sure to unpack some of it when you can. Whatever your situation, you have the power to make the best of it or the worst of it. It’s all in the way you frame your mindset around it.
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